Monday, November 7, 2011

Big Girl Panties

I've had the rug pulled out from under me a lot the past 2 weeks and I've fallen pretty hard from it. I've come to realize I just need to put my big girl panties on and deal with it. I know where I am going and what I want and I'm going to everything in my damn power to make it happen, and not one single person is going to stop me. I know I am strong and I will keep going. I seriously had a few moments in the last while where I had to let myself cry, scream, bitch, yell, and all that other fun stuff, then I had to get up, brush myself off, realize where my priorities/goals are and get back on the path to achieving them. It's been hard and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel like giving up. I've lost way too much in life to just let a few surprises break me.

So I had a situation a few weeks ago that totally caught me off guard. I've heard of other people having this happen but it never had happened to me the way it just had. Someone said something to me that was so excruciatingly painful. They didn't mean it in a bad way but it was one of those comments that was so extremely ignorant. I seriously thought to myself "Next time I'd rather you just stab me with a chef's knife. That would be A LOT more comfortable!". But unfortunately it was one of those situations where I just had to keep a smile on face and let out a stupid giggle like I thought it was funny. This situation kinda brought up feelings that I had buried deep inside of myself. I realized it was an area of my life that I had to give a time-out to because I genuinely couldn't deal with it. Still to this day I'm not sure if I'm ready to revive these feelings and the situation but I'm at least willing to put some thoughts into it.

Well lovelies, thanks so much for reading! I hope you all had a great Halloween!" target="_blank">" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/>

Sunday, October 16, 2011


Have you ever been going along with life, allowing it to take you where it wants, embracing the waves, and accepting every challenge it gives you, when all of the sudden you stop and realize your life has made a complete 180? I never thought I'd be where I am today. It's so strange to me, the way it has just come so naturally. It baffles me that with all this change and growth in my life and in me, I have not once felt out of control. That's always been a problem with me (or a strength depending on how you look at it), I've always needed control and without it I usually panic. But at this point in my life I feel this over whelming calm. I truly am content and happy. With my birthday approaching (October 27th) it has dawned on me that even with all the bull shit that has been thrown my way and with all the health problems I was told I'd never survive, here I am yet another year older and stronger than ever. All the people that said I couldn't make it can suck it. I'm so thankful for everyone who has helped me and stood by my side through out the years. I've been thinking a lot about the help I've received through out my life and I've decided that it's time to return the favor. I am going to do some volunteering and donating, as much as I possibly can. I already do quite a bit of donating but I don't feel like it's enough. I want to touch as many lives as I can, because so many people have touched mine. It's good karma, you know?

Thanks for reading lovelies! xoxoxo

Friday, September 23, 2011


Life has been hectic as hell, but I wouldn't change it for anything. There's so much going on right now. Some times I get caught up in it all, my minds starts going a million miles an hour, I start panicking, and just when I feel like saying "fuck it" and giving up, I remember to breathe. I'm in love with life, I always have been and always will be. Some times I lose my ways but then I remember to breathe and soak up life. When I start feeling life's pressures too much I go sit outside. I look at the mountains, feel the sunshine, absorb the sounds of life and it centers me right back to where I need to be. I have felt so lucky lately. Life is really turning around and it just keeps getting better. Once again lovelies thanks for reading! You guys freaking rock!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Lookin' on up :)

Things are really looking up for me, like every aspect of my life is so much better. The other day I was pondering why things had all the sudden changed from bad to good. What I realized is the only thing that changed is myself. I put in the time and effort to work through some stuff I needed to and now my outlook on life is so much better. I think that change in myself caused me to work harder to achieve my goals and dreams. For the first time in quite awhile I can say that I am truly happy and satisfied with my life and the path its headed down. I'm excited to move on in life with my career, my education, my relationship, my friendships, and my future. I have made some really awesome friends recently and I am very thankful for that. I am looking forward to doing all the things I have wanted to and I look forward to what comes next. I don't really want to be one of those annoying preaching people but I really believe that in order to be happy with your life you need to work on yourself. I did and still am and it has helped a million times over. Don't rely on other people to make you happy, and don't wait for some magical fix. In order to be happy with life you need to be happy with yourself.

Well lovelies I will update you again with hopefully good news. As always thanks for reading and being there for me. I really appreciate all of you and I am proud to announce that my blog is being read in 10 countries on a regular basis. That is amazing to me and I can't believe how far this little blog of mine has made it. I am going to try to start posting more often again.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Quick Shoutout

I just wanted to thank all my readers for reading and referring my blog.

Here's a list of sites/blogs that have referred me. Thanks everyone I really appreciate it :)

Removing Road Blocks
Molly Campbell
Life Rearranged
The Happrnings In My Life

Thanks again everyone!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Happiness :)

I feel it in my blood, in my body, in my soul. It's this passion that just fuels me, and keeps me who I am. I call it my Jaz-ness. It's the part of me that is fun loving, energetic, happy, and always having a fabulous time. I have missed that part of me and I am more than happy to have it back. I love the fact that the way I am so happy and upbeat fuels others around me. For awhile I wondered if I was ever going to get my Jaz-ness back and here I am probably the happiest person alive just because I can be. I was so touched the other day when I was told that people look forward to seeing me because I am always fun and make everyone laugh. That means a lot to me. I am not saying I am trying to impress by any means, but I am glad to be the one that lifts others moods. I might be totally ditsy, easily distracted, and easily confused, or whatever else you want to call me but what matters is I have fun with life, even if that requires me to laugh at myself multiple times a day. I love being me and all being me entails, the up's and the down's. I know that everything I am going through is worth it and even if it isn't now, it will be. I don't regret anything in life because even the bad shit I have been through means the world to me. I am finally to the point in my life where I have learned to appreciate everything that has and will happen to me. Without all the bullshit that has happened in my life I wouldn't be who I am or have who I have. My friends (who are more like family) mean the world to me and I am the luckiest person on earth to have them around me. I am so extremely happy with my life. I have the best co-workers, friends, family, and life. Seriously, my life is amazing, might not be perfect but it's still pretty f'ing fabulous. And I can't forget you guys, my readers lovelies, you guys have been here with me through a lot and hopefully you will all continue to be here for me. :)

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The dancing lady.

When I was 12 I lived in these apartments in the ghetto of east side Utah. Well one night I was sitting outside (big surprise I know) and this ladies came leaping and dancing up to me. She was clearly high. She told me to get up and dance with her. She said all she wanted in life was to be happy, free, and to dance when she wants to. Unfortunately for her I wasn't high for once. I got weirded out told her no and said have fun and went inside. About 30 minutes later the I went back outside, as I laid there peacefully relaxing, sirens filled the air. Next thing I know there's cops, paramedics and firemen everywhere. They all scurried up to the dancer's apartment. I was thinking someone called the cops cuz the drugs she had. Next thing I know I see the paramedics with.a stretcher complete with a body bag leave the apartment. I being a drug addict (at the time) knew what had happened. She got too high and decided to get just a little higher. That never ends well.

Tonight I was just sitting on my porch (we are all shocked don't worry), I had music playing on my phone and for some reason started thinking about the dancer lady. I started to realize that she died completely happy. She might not have been happy sober or deep down inside but I was the last person to see her alive and I can honestly say she was happy. She was so free and in love with the moment so what better to do than dance? I can honestly say I am as happy as she was now, lucky for me it has nothing to do with ecstasy or any other drug. Next time I dance I am going to be dancing for the happiest dancing woman I have ever met.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The flu in May?!

Yep, you read it right lovelies. Me and my "special" immune system caught the May. I thought I lucked out because the most I got in the winter was a cold, but apparently it was just waiting to hit me with it's best shot. So during a fabulous puking my guts up episode I apparently thought it would be a good idea to tear up my throat pretty fabulously, btw it's pretty f'ing painful. Now I am sitting here debating whether to drink a cup of hot cocoa for the 1,000th time today, to try taking a few teaspoons of honey, or to eat yet another throat drop things. I originally thought of just banging my head off this stool next to me but decided that probably wouldn't be very productive let alone soothing. Add the 2 1/2 days of work I missed to the shitty feeling I have right now and it equals me not being very happy with my immune system. Never mind the 5 hour, morphine filled emergency room trip I got to enjoy on Monday.

Anyways, I applied for a writing job that I am kinda excited about. It doesn't pay too much, but it will slowly fill my savings account back up. So it would be beyond splendid if I got that. Also we are getting super close to our wedding day and I am getting uber excited for it. I was beginning to think we would never get married. Not sure what we will do after marriage, besides get a new place. We are thinking about starting the adoption classes so when we are ready to (mentally and financially) we can adopt. That will be fun, especially since I am super strange and love filling out paperwork and with the adoption process you get tons and tons of papers to fill out. So yeah, that where everything is right now and I am going to go get my car wreck of a throat some relief. Talk to you lovelies soon!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Baby, I am coming home!

And you thought I would never come back. I could never leave my lovelies! Don't ever think I am going to abandon you again, OK? Pinkie promise. OK so my fabulous readers time for me to update. Everyone ready? Drum roll please (this is the part where you make a drum roll before reading, btw)....

Well I am loving my life right now. I seriously am happy. I told you all 2011 was going to be amazing, and so far it is pretty f'ing spectacular! So as we all know I got a job, the hubs has started a new *old* job (he's back at Pizza Hut for the 5th time) and we finally got another car. I also finally found out that I am anemic and lacking the good old vitamin D. I feel amazing now that I am taking vitamins. I couldn't be happier that winter finally pissed off. Oh wait I forgot to tell you all the most exciting part, the hubs and I are finally getting legally married! After five and a half years together. We are getting married July 9th. Then we will be moving later this year and the hubs plans on going back to school. Also you guys are going to be super proud of me, I know I am. So there was like high school girl drama going on (I have no idea why there is drama involving me at work when I have only been there for a month *rolls eyes*) but instead of freaking out on these two girls, I kept my cool after realizing that freaking out on them is just stooping as low as them. So I calmly called one of the girls and talked things out (OK so I was brutally honest, but I don't think I was being a bitch). I have really been working hard on thinking before speaking and it's been helping sooo much.

Well lovelies, I am going to let you all absorb that while I keep working on updating the blog design.

P.S. Isn't the song playing the cutest song ever?!

Monday, April 18, 2011


I sat in the bathroom with mascara running down my face at 1 in the morning, I was begging for a bone to be tossed my way. I was on my knees just begging and praying for help. It's been a long time since I have pleaded to our higher power that hard. I needed an opportunity so I could fix my situation. I didn't want it to be fixed for me, but I needed fixing it to be possible. Sure enough a few days later a friend told me to apply at his job and next thing I know I am going over job terms and signing paperwork. That was my bone, now I have to chew it responsibly and find the best place to bury it. Part of me is so ecstatic that my prayers were answered, but another part of me is overly cautious and worried that I will or have made the wrong choice(s). In the past we have made some bad decisions that have led us to where we are, and I am terrified I will make or allow those same things to repeat themselves. I am so extremely ready to have our own house under our names, have a paid off car (and keep it), have a steady income, and all that so we can finally move on in our lives, start a family and live. I feel like the stage of life I am in right now is one where I make or break my future. I need to set all the pieces in the right places now so I can have a beautiful future. I know what I have done to get myself into the position I am in now, I also know what I need to change to prevent it from happening again. Now I just need to find the strength to do so. I am proud of myself for all that I have learned and all that I have accomplished, but I am also proud of myself for realizing that there is no one else to blame for where I am or where I have been. I am working very hard on being the bigger person in some situations and not reacting to people trying to trigger me to react. Overall though I am very happy, nervous, but happy. I am so extremely thankful for what I have, and the power I have to make things better.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


I swear I didn't abandon you all. I haven't been able to find that creativity that usually is flowing so fluently inside me. I have been dealing with a lot lately and it can overwhelm me if I let it, which for awhile there I did. A lot of the crap I have had going on is due to assuming, either me assuming or someone else. I can't stand assuming and I hate that I do it every now and then. People like to assume they know what is going on with certain situations, or with things I will say or do. It's very annoying. It's like a story my hubs was telling me the other day. I guess when him and his dad where doing a job (they are plumbers/installers) this lady kept trying to finish their sentences, but of course kept getting it wrong. It is extremely annoying when people do things like that. If you do that to people, you might want to consider stopping. If someone does it to you do what I always do, tell them one of these options: A)"Do you want to know what I was going to say or do you just want to pretend you know what I was going to say?" B) or swap out "say" in option A with whatever word fits the situation. C) "Since you already know what I was going to say, will you hurry and have this conversation in your head because it is obviously a waste of my time." Make sure to say this in a very sarcastic tone.
Those options usually get the point across pretty well.

Anyways, I think I blame the weather for my lack of creativity. I hate Salt Lake City for its extreme weather changes all year long. SLC has its own little climate due to the fact we're pretty much in a bowl. We have mountains surrounding us every way so humidity, pollution, heat, etc. gets trapped in our "bowl" causing crazy things to happen. Lately we have been enjoying this every other day of 70 degrees of pure sunshine then the next day its 30 degrees and snowing. It's pretty ridiculous if you ask me. The more this weather goes crazy the more I question our decision of cancelling our plans to move to Vegas last year. We were so close to doing it (2 months away to be exact) and we changed plans last second.
Well, I am off to the doctors soon, I promise I will post more now. :)

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Reversed Rocky

For those of you who don't know what the "Rocky" is, it's when you throw an ice cold glass of water on some one's face and while they react to that, you punch them. I feel like I got reversed rocky-ed. I got punched and it hurt. I feel the pain flood my face, the pity, the embarrassment, and the shock fill me up. Then someone throws ice cold water on me, making me rush back to reality, realizing I will be ok and to just keep my mind over matter. Life has given me a lot of cheap shots over the years, each one as painful as the last. My water in the face is me realizing it hurts but I will pull through. After the shock of the punch and the refreshing moment of the ice water, I will feel better. I will still have the bruise that will hurt when someone touches it, and it'll hurt when someone reminds me of it, making me remember it's there. The punch didn't kill me and I will grow from it, I will learn from it, and I will be stronger for it. No matter how hard I get hit I will get up, dust off my manicured hands, put my stilettos back on and I will keep working my runway called life. One day when the time is right I will fight back, but now isn't the time. I will take these broken wings and learn to fly.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Sleeping Babies & Irish Husbands

I love when I get to play with my little cousin Jordana. She is my cousin-in-law, Tony's one year old daughter. I love the way she holds on to my fingers, pulls herself up with much pride, and then as she purposely falls on her butt and I say "Boom!" she laughs so hard. P.S. she has the cutest freaking laugh 'nuff said. I love the way we have head shaking contests until she laughs so hard she snorts. I love the way she gets deliriously tired and laughs at absolutely nothing. I love the way she drinks her bottle and feels the blanket as she falls asleep. Then just when you think she fell asleep she all the sudden wakes up again. I love the way as she dozes off into baby dream land, her hand slowly falls and once it hits the blanket she jolts awake and repeats the same hand falling motion. She is such a calm happy baby and I love babysitting her.

Today we are celebrating my hubby's 24th birthday and it looks like St. Patrick's Day vomited in my basement. Happy Birthday, my love!


Note he even had mini flags :)




I am not sure why he is making a poo face in this picture, but oh well

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Our higher power wants their angel back: Delaney

Our higher power let us barrow an angel. This angel's name is Delaney. She is a 3 year old little girl, she has fought a battle harder than any of us even know. I heard a story once, I am going to do my best to repeat it.

An angel approached God and asked, "I would like to go to earth and teach the people a lesson about strength, hope, and love." God replies "I can let you go but I will have to teach you a lesson about strength, hope, and love." The angel goes to earth as a newborn, lives life and is an amazing person. The angel starts getting sick and discovers they have a fatal disease. The angel and the people in the angel's life learn three lessons: strength, hope and love. Eventually God calls the angel back to heaven. He asks the angel "Did you teach your lessons?" A tear slides down the angel's cheek and she hugs God and says thanks.

That story means a lot to me because I have repeatedly watched the best people I know die from terrible diseases. I wanted to share that story with you all especially Delaney's friends and family. I know how hard it is to sit there and watch the ones you love pass, and know there's nothing you can do about it. I think that regardless of what religion you are (I am not a religious person) you can relate to this story and it will help you heal.

Little Delaney is being called back to heaven and will soon make her journey. My heart hurts for her parents, but I know that this is best for Delaney.

If you want to read Delaney's story, or be a fan on Facebook click here <----

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


I think Life is trying to teach me a lesson about decisions. You hear the phrase "stuck between a rock and a hard place" all the time. Why does that happen? Why do we as humans constantly have to make one hard choice after another? What do you do when your heart tells you one thing but your brain is telling you another? How do you make a choice that could drastically effect some one's future? I used to wish that I had a way to see what my life would be like had I went back in time and chose the opposite choice of any given situation. Yesterday I came to the conclusion that I am better off not knowing what could have been. Right now I am facing some very tough decisions and I am completely baffled at what to do. I have tried making lists of the positives and negatives of each choice and it still hasn't cleared anything up. The shit part of making these decisions is that if you make the wrong choice you can never take it back, it's permanent.

My question for all of you lovelies are...

What is your decision making process? How do you figure out what path is the right one?

Monday, February 28, 2011

I Heart Faces Photo Challenge #2

This week for the I Heart Faces Challenge the theme is "anything but a face". So I chose to submit a picture of my "velcro pitbull". This is pretty much where she is at any time of the day. The term "velcro pitbull" came from pitbulls being very attached to their owners. Corona is no exception.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I Heart Faces Challenge 1

This week I decided to enter the I Heart Faces photo challenge. The theme this week was phone photos.

I took this picture when I was babysitting my cousin Eva, and I looked over and saw her and my American Pit Bull Terrier, Corona cuddling together. I was going to go get my actual camera but realized that if I moved they would as well, so I reached over grabbed my phone and snapped a picture. I love this picture because it shows that with proper training dogs (of any breed), but especially Pits are great with kids. It also shows that amazing bond between humans and dogs.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Secret Hiding Spot

You know the feeling where you are in a room full of people who are laughing, smiling and enjoying each other, but yet you feel so alone? I had that feeling the other day. It was one of those times I had to escape to my secret hiding spot, I felt my heart pounding through out my entire body, my stomach threatening to vomit, my palms sweating, and I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin. At the last second my subconscious allowed me to run away. I ran away to my secret hiding spot, the one you can only get to by zoning out and letting your subconscious thoughts take over. I sat there letting my mind take over, running to my secret hiding spot, while I clinched my jaw and begged for my eyes not cry and my mouth not to scream. To other people it just looks like I am starring at something inquisitively, then they ask if I am OK and I have to snap back to reality, and pull some excuse out of my ass as to why I am starring at something for 5 minutes straight. When I finally snap back into my normal fully aware self, and I quickly realize I need to bail on this seemingly happy place, run far, get out of there before my heart shatters into a million pieces like a vase during an earthquake. I got out of there, as my mind runs away from all that is there, the stuff I very often shove into some virtual drawer that I avoid like the swine flu. Then finally my brain tells my body, "You can breathe now, it's OK, you will be OK."

We all have moments like that, where you just can't possibly take any more. It is OK to run, get out of there like a bat out of hell. One day I will empty that virtual drawer, sort through it all, decide what I should do with each individual article, but today is simply not that day. The next morning after my anxiety-filled night, nature decided to offer me an amazing sunset to ease my pain. It calmed me and let me know that even when I can't tell up from down, that I will survive.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Over Qualified

If someone would have told me 6 years ago that working your ass off day after day just screws you over in the long run, I wouldn't have believed them. 2008 through 2010 were spent with 40+ hour weeks, rarely getting full days off, running, teaching, answering constant phone calls, doing everyones jobs while doing mine, and so much more. It seems like yesterday a friend or co-worker would try to talk to me during work and I had to blow them off as much as I really wanted to talk to them. I had a million things to do, my mind was going 500 miles an hour. 11 o'clock would finally roll around and I could eat, shower, and then finally let head hit my pillow, and as I start to doze off my mind encounters a lost thought, discovering that some where along the way I had forgotten to do something. That lost thought triggers my brain's motor to kick up and I can't find the kill switch any where.

It is funny though, now I run into old clients, co-workers, family, and friends they always tell me how much better I look. They say I look more lively, less stressed, well rested, and more energetic. Then they ask the question everyone does, "Don't you love not working?" As a matter of fact I hate it. Yes, I do have all my writing I do which I love so passionately, but it isn't the same. I thrive on challenge, stress, and too much to do with too little time. I love the feeling of finishing my endless day's work with just one second to spare. I love the way that a few of my co-workers realized how hard I busted my ass everyday and we mutually acknowledged each others hard working, ass busting, gratifying jobs. I miss seeing my clients' thank you cards, and seeing how much their lives have improved because of my ass busting work. I miss almost every part of my job. I left because some people can't get over certain parts of my lifestyle. Shit got messy and I just couldn't take it. I often think about the "what-ifs" had I stayed, but chances are things would have got bad and the old, violent me would have poked her head out and a lot of bad things would have happened. The fact that I walked away even though I so deeply loved my job, is what shows me that I have changed, I have grown up, and I am not that little trouble making, drugged up, girl I used to be. I am an adult now.

The company I interviewed at told me that I am too over qualified for what they are looking for. They went on to tell me what jobs I should be applying for (as if I am some sort of idiot and not aware of the fact that I should stay in the dog industry). I wish people would understand that yes, I might be over qualified, but that just means that in the past I have worked my ass off, and would continue to do that through out my future. But, I am a believer in everything happening for a reason, and if something doesn't happen it just isn't meant to be. I know something will happen that makes me completely aware of why this situation didn't work out. It never fails, I take every situation and grow from it, and I will do so for the rest of my life.

Thursday, February 10, 2011


I am having issues with the music player loading correctly. If you have this issue, when it stops playing just hit pause then play. I am working on it so hopefully with any luck it should be fixed soon.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Interview

So I have been in the market for a part time job or two or three. Well the thing about working in the pet industry is that companies outside of the pet industry don't understand that being a dog trainer is actually a really good skill because of the things you learn from it. Anyways, I have sent my resume to all sorts of places for months now and kept getting that I was over qualified or under qualified. Well, today I got a call back, because I didn't know the number and I have had prior problems with stalkers I let the call go to voicemail. I check the message and realized someone in the pet industry has finally given me a call back. From over the phone this guy sounded like we would have a total clash of personalities, but I decided screw it, let's do the interview. So I go to the interview and I learned 4 thing today: 1. Interviews are easier when there is a kitten purring in your lap. 2. Interviews are easier when you discover the person interviewing you is your age and looks like someone that would be in your group of friends. 3. Interviews are easier when you have confidence and know that you will rock the interview without a doubt. 4. Interviews are easier when for once your hair and makeup did what you wanted and you look really good (oh, and a push up bra never hurts either). I really feel good about the interview seeing as he liked a lot of what i brought to the table (work experience, knowing multiple languages, and my knowledge of almost every animal). Needless to say I am pretty confident I will get a final call back, now I am just hoping I get a call back from this other place I want to work and life will be super!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Strength. Hope. Imperfect.

Those three words are my past, present, and future. It describes me in 2010, now, and how I will get through 2011.

I have always been a strong person. I do whatever it take to make things work, to get through the storm to find the rainbow. A lot of times I get through the storm to discover there isn't a rainbow yet, but that's ok. I have always been the one to lean on, I am just reliable. A lot of times I have to be stronger than everyone else. Strength is a weak and strong point. I have learned that some times it's best just to break down and not be the strong one for once. My strength is what keeps me going because I know that no matter what I am going through I can count on my strength to get me through it.

Hope is a big part of my life, always has been and always will be. I hope for myself and others. When my strength can't take anymore hope is always there to catch me.

Imperfection is something I am slowly learning to deal with. It will take a while for me to realize I am not perfect and that is ok. I think most people strive to be perfect when in fact being perfect is really just another level of imperfection.

So tell me what are your 3 words?

Friday, February 4, 2011

Happy Friday!

Happy Friday my lovelies!

Are any of you going crazy waiting to see my super secret surprise? Wanna know what it is?'ll have to wait. :D Patience is a virtue my little grasshopper.

My cleaning is going awesome. I am doing a little everyday so it's not so overwhelming. Also I finally got my sleeping schedule back on track (up at 5 or 6 and to bed by 11). It was a much needed change. There's really nothing exciting going on, not sure if that will change though.

Oh yeah, I forgot to update you all on my surgery. It went ok, I mean it was surgery so it's not like it was an uber fun time or anything. I like my new doctor, he is pretty chill. Anyways, I have an ulcer, and a few more issues I always have had so nothing new. I have to go get 2 more tests done on 3/10 to see if it's for sure my gallbladder causing me so many issues. So at this point I hope it is so I can get it removed and be back to being super awesome.

So, that is pretty much it for today, unless something super happens (I know, I know, wishful thinking). Thanks for reading my lovelies! Enjoy your weekend and if you are a fan of American football then enjoy your super bowl! I know I will be hopefully having a movie night with my friend so that will be uber great.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Snow is a No!

I have this thing I like to do where I stand at the bottom of the stairs and look at the window next to my front door. You know that soap commercial where the guy tells you to look up and then you're some where amazing with the hot guy? Well mine is kind of like that. I look up and see the blue sky and imagine it's warm outside, there's flowers, green trees, and basketball games in my drive way. Then I look down and there's snow (don't worry, I just barfed a little too). Then I look up again and imagine I am about to take my dog to the park, go feed bread to goats, and go to yogurt land. Look down, back to reality and blah, there it guessed it...snow. I seriously am counting down the days until spring. I hate, hate, hate the cold!!! The moral of this story is that I can't wait for it to be warm here. I want the mountains to look like this...

and not this...

See what I mean?

P.S. I have a super special surprise coming! Want to know what I have up my sleeve? Well, you're going to have to wait. :D

Sunday, January 30, 2011


I have hit a new phase in my life. Maybe I hit it awhile ago and have been trying to run from it, but now I am embracing it with open arms. I have this prominent urge to become a housewife. You know the kind that wears a frilly apron, and has a baby on the hip while cooking a miraculous dinner?

*courtesy of google images*

I think it's my subconscious' way of telling me "Jaz, it's time to put on your big girl pants." I am ready for a house full of kids, pets, friends, family gatherings, hubby's parties, and more. I have reached that stage in my life where I look forward to spending my day cleaning a house, doing laundry, grocery shopping, and taking care of pets/kids/hubby. I don't know if it is normal to just wake up one day and feel the need to change this much but it happened. If everything works out, we will be growing up. You know the kind of growing up where you have a mortgage, kids, careers, a car filled with random crap the family has left behind, and more. I want that, and I want it soon. So hopefully we can have our "real" wedding like everyone has been requesting, then get a house, start the adoption process, and whatever else comes our way. I don't know when all this will happen, but I know it's coming. I mean hell we have been together for over 5 years, it is about time we get our shit together and be normal. :D

But I promise my blog won't change, t won't become a wedding blog, housewife blog, mommy blog, or anything else. It will always stay the same, this happy little place I call my blog.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Oh Shiny Sinks

Oh shiny sinks, oh shiny sinks, of all the sinks most lovely,
Each day you bring to me delight, meaning in both day and night,
Oh shiny sinks, oh shiny sinks of all the sinks most lovely!

Ok so I am totally digging Flylady and her methods! I cleaned the bathroom (one of them at least) and bar sinks. Here are the pictures (I forgot to take the pics before I added bleach water).








Thanks for reading lovelies!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

~The Challenge~

Ok here you have it readers. I am going to challenge myself and any of my readers who want to participate. I am going to take the Flylady challenge. I will start today. Click this to go to Flylady's site.
So here is the plan:
-Today I am going to join, and then I am going to start with the first baby step of shining my kitchen sink.
-I will continue to follow the plan as much as possible.

I will post photos as much as possible so you can see how it is going. It's a new year and I am going to become more organized.

To be continued...

Wednesday, January 19, 2011


What does it mean to you? I have been thinking a lot lately about this insane emotion that can make you cry, scream, kiss, moan, and be a better person all at the same time. How is it that the same feeling that brought to my knees crying is also the one that causes me so much happiness? I think love has multiple personalities if you ask me. Sometimes it causes you to breath deeply, grip the sheets so tight, feel your lover's breath on your neck as it sends chills down your spine, and make the world stop spinning in that moment. Sometimes it makes you do stupid shit that you start to regret until you realize you can't change your past because the truth hurts and love causes a hell of a lot of honesty. Every once in awhile it makes you feel like you dance forever, hug a stranger, and care about every thing in your beautiful world. Just when you think you have discovered every face of love another one pops out and surprises you. In the past 5 years I have learned that I love hard, I have felt some of the deepest love I will ever feel. The same love that had me at hello, makes me bawl my eyes out. They say that love conquers all, but love can't conquer death and loss, don't get me wrong though. Love can't conquer death and loss, but it will survive it, love never goes away. Think about it, what does love mean to you?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


Sorry for the lack of posting lately. As some of you know, I am due to have sme surgeries on Thursday. I start my fasting tonight, and continue into Thursday afternoon. I am not so mentally stable when I go without food for too long so I am hoping I can pull through. Anyways, that's why I have been missing. I will be back by Monday for sure, and I look forward to writing something fabulous for you all.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Twigs & Trees

The funny thing about life is that we always seem to be trying to change who we are. Change our identity, become someone else. Why though? Why not grow into a better version of you? I want to share with you all something that I wrote years ago...

"My heroes are trees. They're insanely inspiring. They make me question who I am or what I am doing. You see, trees are a lot like us, they start out little and grow to be big and amazing. We all start out this tiny twig, we get battered by our surroundings, pissed on, dug up and moved, and we just aren't that strong. As twigs poking out of the ground we look at the big strong oaks and birches around us and wonder what it must be like to be so majestic. Some of us can't handle the journey, we give up our fight and slowly die. Slowly but surely we start to earn our inner rings, that tell the world "Hey, I've stayed strong through all the piss, and storms!" and there is no denying that. Some of us get planted in fabulous gardens that are sheltered, where we get fed, and don't have to worry about much. Others are planted in not so welcoming places and have to fight every single day just to survive. No matter where we get planted we all have the same goal, to grow strong and earn our rings. After a long journey, we become these strong amazing trees. When we become these beautiful trees, the piss and storms don't effect us much. And every year we continue to lose our leaves and grow just a bit stronger than the last. Each tree is different, and yet beautiful in it's own way."

For the longest time I wanted to change who I was or what I was born into, but now I embrace who I am, and where I am. I inspire to do a lot, and most people don't think I will ever finish half the things I set out to do, because I am still a very small tree, but I will grow and earn my rings that tell you I finished and became exactly what I wanted to...a big, beautiful, and strong tree.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New (insert word here)!

2011 has been knocking on my door. 2011 wants my amazing-ness (add that to the list of words I have created) to come out and play. I feel it. The awsome-ness (that too) is aching to come out. I am craving change. I don't know what the change will be, honestly your guess is as good as mine. This year is going to be big. There's no stopping me. This cold from hell isn't even stopping me. I am going to stop 2010's revolving door and see what the inside of 2011 has to offer me. New job? New house? New family? New wedding dress? New dolphin? New boobs? New school? New readers? New hair? New spaceship? I have no clue what is headed my way but I am going to embrace the awesome and fight the not so cool with my awesome-ness. I think I have finally reached the point where I can't take anymore it-will-happen's, things-have-to-get-better's, and it-will-all-work-out's. I am going to make my life better. I will make things happen. I will make things work out. Get ready for fireworks and parades, baby! Don't believe me? Watch me. I am going to take the gray parts of my world and splash them with paint, glitter, and diamonds. It's going to be fabulous!

"I, Jaz, take you 2011, to be my fresh and fabulous year, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until 2012 do us part."

Monday, January 3, 2011

Baby Molly & Little Cliff

Hi my lovelies! How were your holidays? Do you all remember little Cliff? I hope so. We have until the 7th to keep raising money for him through the button on my sidebar. We are currently at just over $8,000. The goal is $20,000 so donate if you can! If you want to see more babies you can help out that have special needs jump over to Reece's Rainbow . Thanks so much for your help so far!

I have another baby I need to ask you guys to help out. Meet Molly.
Molly is just over a month old. A few days before Christmas the Campbell family's lives changed drastically. Molly's mom, Rebekah was out shopping when Molly's dad, David called. David went on to tell her that Molly had a high fever and he thinks she should come home. Rebekah comes home, and decides to take little Molly to the emergency room. Both parents are thinking it's just the flu or something along those lines. After hours of waiting and tons of tests Rebekah and David get news that would devistate any parent. Molly was diagnosed Christmas Eve with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, a cancer of the white blood cells that was rapidly filling her body. Molly's Leukemia is progressing very fast and is extremely life threatening. Molly had to be life flighted to a different hospital (in B.C., Canada) that could handle the serious disease she has. This hospital is far and requires the family to move and David to quit his job to take care of their other children. Put yourself in their shoes, imagine hearing your daughter has a long and life threatening fight ahead of her and she isn't even 2 months old. I am asking you all to donate anything you can to help them stay with their daughter while she fights for her life. They are going to need help financially for housing, food, basic living costs, and Molly's medical expenses. Please click this link ----> Baby Molly's Story and read the full story, send our prayers and any money if you can. Thanks so much everyone, you have no idea what it means to me to have such great readers that offer their help/thoughts/prayers. I will be making a button for Molly that will link to her blog, if you have a blog or website it would be super if you can post it on your page!

On a side note I would like to thank you all I now have 10 followers and last month I reached 420 views! Thanks so much lovelies!!!