If someone would have told me 6 years ago that working your ass off day after day just screws you over in the long run, I wouldn't have believed them. 2008 through 2010 were spent with 40+ hour weeks, rarely getting full days off, running, teaching, answering constant phone calls, doing everyones jobs while doing mine, and so much more. It seems like yesterday a friend or co-worker would try to talk to me during work and I had to blow them off as much as I really wanted to talk to them. I had a million things to do, my mind was going 500 miles an hour. 11 o'clock would finally roll around and I could eat, shower, and then finally let head hit my pillow, and as I start to doze off my mind encounters a lost thought, discovering that some where along the way I had forgotten to do something. That lost thought triggers my brain's motor to kick up and I can't find the kill switch any where.
It is funny though, now I run into old clients, co-workers, family, and friends they always tell me how much better I look. They say I look more lively, less stressed, well rested, and more energetic. Then they ask the question everyone does, "Don't you love not working?" As a matter of fact I hate it. Yes, I do have all my writing I do which I love so passionately, but it isn't the same. I thrive on challenge, stress, and too much to do with too little time. I love the feeling of finishing my endless day's work with just one second to spare. I love the way that a few of my co-workers realized how hard I busted my ass everyday and we mutually acknowledged each others hard working, ass busting, gratifying jobs. I miss seeing my clients' thank you cards, and seeing how much their lives have improved because of my ass busting work. I miss almost every part of my job. I left because some people can't get over certain parts of my lifestyle. Shit got messy and I just couldn't take it. I often think about the "what-ifs" had I stayed, but chances are things would have got bad and the old, violent me would have poked her head out and a lot of bad things would have happened. The fact that I walked away even though I so deeply loved my job, is what shows me that I have changed, I have grown up, and I am not that little trouble making, drugged up, girl I used to be. I am an adult now.
The company I interviewed at told me that I am too over qualified for what they are looking for. They went on to tell me what jobs I should be applying for (as if I am some sort of idiot and not aware of the fact that I should stay in the dog industry). I wish people would understand that yes, I might be over qualified, but that just means that in the past I have worked my ass off, and would continue to do that through out my future. But, I am a believer in everything happening for a reason, and if something doesn't happen it just isn't meant to be. I know something will happen that makes me completely aware of why this situation didn't work out. It never fails, I take every situation and grow from it, and I will do so for the rest of my life.