Monday, July 25, 2011

Quick Shoutout

I just wanted to thank all my readers for reading and referring my blog.

Here's a list of sites/blogs that have referred me. Thanks everyone I really appreciate it :)

Removing Road Blocks
Molly Campbell
Life Rearranged
The Happrnings In My Life

Thanks again everyone!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Happiness :)

I feel it in my blood, in my body, in my soul. It's this passion that just fuels me, and keeps me who I am. I call it my Jaz-ness. It's the part of me that is fun loving, energetic, happy, and always having a fabulous time. I have missed that part of me and I am more than happy to have it back. I love the fact that the way I am so happy and upbeat fuels others around me. For awhile I wondered if I was ever going to get my Jaz-ness back and here I am probably the happiest person alive just because I can be. I was so touched the other day when I was told that people look forward to seeing me because I am always fun and make everyone laugh. That means a lot to me. I am not saying I am trying to impress by any means, but I am glad to be the one that lifts others moods. I might be totally ditsy, easily distracted, and easily confused, or whatever else you want to call me but what matters is I have fun with life, even if that requires me to laugh at myself multiple times a day. I love being me and all being me entails, the up's and the down's. I know that everything I am going through is worth it and even if it isn't now, it will be. I don't regret anything in life because even the bad shit I have been through means the world to me. I am finally to the point in my life where I have learned to appreciate everything that has and will happen to me. Without all the bullshit that has happened in my life I wouldn't be who I am or have who I have. My friends (who are more like family) mean the world to me and I am the luckiest person on earth to have them around me. I am so extremely happy with my life. I have the best co-workers, friends, family, and life. Seriously, my life is amazing, might not be perfect but it's still pretty f'ing fabulous. And I can't forget you guys, my readers lovelies, you guys have been here with me through a lot and hopefully you will all continue to be here for me. :)

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The dancing lady.

When I was 12 I lived in these apartments in the ghetto of east side Utah. Well one night I was sitting outside (big surprise I know) and this ladies came leaping and dancing up to me. She was clearly high. She told me to get up and dance with her. She said all she wanted in life was to be happy, free, and to dance when she wants to. Unfortunately for her I wasn't high for once. I got weirded out told her no and said have fun and went inside. About 30 minutes later the I went back outside, as I laid there peacefully relaxing, sirens filled the air. Next thing I know there's cops, paramedics and firemen everywhere. They all scurried up to the dancer's apartment. I was thinking someone called the cops cuz the drugs she had. Next thing I know I see the paramedics with.a stretcher complete with a body bag leave the apartment. I being a drug addict (at the time) knew what had happened. She got too high and decided to get just a little higher. That never ends well.

Tonight I was just sitting on my porch (we are all shocked don't worry), I had music playing on my phone and for some reason started thinking about the dancer lady. I started to realize that she died completely happy. She might not have been happy sober or deep down inside but I was the last person to see her alive and I can honestly say she was happy. She was so free and in love with the moment so what better to do than dance? I can honestly say I am as happy as she was now, lucky for me it has nothing to do with ecstasy or any other drug. Next time I dance I am going to be dancing for the happiest dancing woman I have ever met.