Monday, February 28, 2011

I Heart Faces Photo Challenge #2

This week for the I Heart Faces Challenge the theme is "anything but a face". So I chose to submit a picture of my "velcro pitbull". This is pretty much where she is at any time of the day. The term "velcro pitbull" came from pitbulls being very attached to their owners. Corona is no exception.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I Heart Faces Challenge 1

This week I decided to enter the I Heart Faces photo challenge. The theme this week was phone photos.

I took this picture when I was babysitting my cousin Eva, and I looked over and saw her and my American Pit Bull Terrier, Corona cuddling together. I was going to go get my actual camera but realized that if I moved they would as well, so I reached over grabbed my phone and snapped a picture. I love this picture because it shows that with proper training dogs (of any breed), but especially Pits are great with kids. It also shows that amazing bond between humans and dogs.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Secret Hiding Spot

You know the feeling where you are in a room full of people who are laughing, smiling and enjoying each other, but yet you feel so alone? I had that feeling the other day. It was one of those times I had to escape to my secret hiding spot, I felt my heart pounding through out my entire body, my stomach threatening to vomit, my palms sweating, and I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin. At the last second my subconscious allowed me to run away. I ran away to my secret hiding spot, the one you can only get to by zoning out and letting your subconscious thoughts take over. I sat there letting my mind take over, running to my secret hiding spot, while I clinched my jaw and begged for my eyes not cry and my mouth not to scream. To other people it just looks like I am starring at something inquisitively, then they ask if I am OK and I have to snap back to reality, and pull some excuse out of my ass as to why I am starring at something for 5 minutes straight. When I finally snap back into my normal fully aware self, and I quickly realize I need to bail on this seemingly happy place, run far, get out of there before my heart shatters into a million pieces like a vase during an earthquake. I got out of there, as my mind runs away from all that is there, the stuff I very often shove into some virtual drawer that I avoid like the swine flu. Then finally my brain tells my body, "You can breathe now, it's OK, you will be OK."

We all have moments like that, where you just can't possibly take any more. It is OK to run, get out of there like a bat out of hell. One day I will empty that virtual drawer, sort through it all, decide what I should do with each individual article, but today is simply not that day. The next morning after my anxiety-filled night, nature decided to offer me an amazing sunset to ease my pain. It calmed me and let me know that even when I can't tell up from down, that I will survive.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Over Qualified

If someone would have told me 6 years ago that working your ass off day after day just screws you over in the long run, I wouldn't have believed them. 2008 through 2010 were spent with 40+ hour weeks, rarely getting full days off, running, teaching, answering constant phone calls, doing everyones jobs while doing mine, and so much more. It seems like yesterday a friend or co-worker would try to talk to me during work and I had to blow them off as much as I really wanted to talk to them. I had a million things to do, my mind was going 500 miles an hour. 11 o'clock would finally roll around and I could eat, shower, and then finally let head hit my pillow, and as I start to doze off my mind encounters a lost thought, discovering that some where along the way I had forgotten to do something. That lost thought triggers my brain's motor to kick up and I can't find the kill switch any where.

It is funny though, now I run into old clients, co-workers, family, and friends they always tell me how much better I look. They say I look more lively, less stressed, well rested, and more energetic. Then they ask the question everyone does, "Don't you love not working?" As a matter of fact I hate it. Yes, I do have all my writing I do which I love so passionately, but it isn't the same. I thrive on challenge, stress, and too much to do with too little time. I love the feeling of finishing my endless day's work with just one second to spare. I love the way that a few of my co-workers realized how hard I busted my ass everyday and we mutually acknowledged each others hard working, ass busting, gratifying jobs. I miss seeing my clients' thank you cards, and seeing how much their lives have improved because of my ass busting work. I miss almost every part of my job. I left because some people can't get over certain parts of my lifestyle. Shit got messy and I just couldn't take it. I often think about the "what-ifs" had I stayed, but chances are things would have got bad and the old, violent me would have poked her head out and a lot of bad things would have happened. The fact that I walked away even though I so deeply loved my job, is what shows me that I have changed, I have grown up, and I am not that little trouble making, drugged up, girl I used to be. I am an adult now.

The company I interviewed at told me that I am too over qualified for what they are looking for. They went on to tell me what jobs I should be applying for (as if I am some sort of idiot and not aware of the fact that I should stay in the dog industry). I wish people would understand that yes, I might be over qualified, but that just means that in the past I have worked my ass off, and would continue to do that through out my future. But, I am a believer in everything happening for a reason, and if something doesn't happen it just isn't meant to be. I know something will happen that makes me completely aware of why this situation didn't work out. It never fails, I take every situation and grow from it, and I will do so for the rest of my life.

Thursday, February 10, 2011


I am having issues with the music player loading correctly. If you have this issue, when it stops playing just hit pause then play. I am working on it so hopefully with any luck it should be fixed soon.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Interview

So I have been in the market for a part time job or two or three. Well the thing about working in the pet industry is that companies outside of the pet industry don't understand that being a dog trainer is actually a really good skill because of the things you learn from it. Anyways, I have sent my resume to all sorts of places for months now and kept getting that I was over qualified or under qualified. Well, today I got a call back, because I didn't know the number and I have had prior problems with stalkers I let the call go to voicemail. I check the message and realized someone in the pet industry has finally given me a call back. From over the phone this guy sounded like we would have a total clash of personalities, but I decided screw it, let's do the interview. So I go to the interview and I learned 4 thing today: 1. Interviews are easier when there is a kitten purring in your lap. 2. Interviews are easier when you discover the person interviewing you is your age and looks like someone that would be in your group of friends. 3. Interviews are easier when you have confidence and know that you will rock the interview without a doubt. 4. Interviews are easier when for once your hair and makeup did what you wanted and you look really good (oh, and a push up bra never hurts either). I really feel good about the interview seeing as he liked a lot of what i brought to the table (work experience, knowing multiple languages, and my knowledge of almost every animal). Needless to say I am pretty confident I will get a final call back, now I am just hoping I get a call back from this other place I want to work and life will be super!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Strength. Hope. Imperfect.

Those three words are my past, present, and future. It describes me in 2010, now, and how I will get through 2011.

I have always been a strong person. I do whatever it take to make things work, to get through the storm to find the rainbow. A lot of times I get through the storm to discover there isn't a rainbow yet, but that's ok. I have always been the one to lean on, I am just reliable. A lot of times I have to be stronger than everyone else. Strength is a weak and strong point. I have learned that some times it's best just to break down and not be the strong one for once. My strength is what keeps me going because I know that no matter what I am going through I can count on my strength to get me through it.

Hope is a big part of my life, always has been and always will be. I hope for myself and others. When my strength can't take anymore hope is always there to catch me.

Imperfection is something I am slowly learning to deal with. It will take a while for me to realize I am not perfect and that is ok. I think most people strive to be perfect when in fact being perfect is really just another level of imperfection.

So tell me what are your 3 words?

Friday, February 4, 2011

Happy Friday!

Happy Friday my lovelies!

Are any of you going crazy waiting to see my super secret surprise? Wanna know what it is?'ll have to wait. :D Patience is a virtue my little grasshopper.

My cleaning is going awesome. I am doing a little everyday so it's not so overwhelming. Also I finally got my sleeping schedule back on track (up at 5 or 6 and to bed by 11). It was a much needed change. There's really nothing exciting going on, not sure if that will change though.

Oh yeah, I forgot to update you all on my surgery. It went ok, I mean it was surgery so it's not like it was an uber fun time or anything. I like my new doctor, he is pretty chill. Anyways, I have an ulcer, and a few more issues I always have had so nothing new. I have to go get 2 more tests done on 3/10 to see if it's for sure my gallbladder causing me so many issues. So at this point I hope it is so I can get it removed and be back to being super awesome.

So, that is pretty much it for today, unless something super happens (I know, I know, wishful thinking). Thanks for reading my lovelies! Enjoy your weekend and if you are a fan of American football then enjoy your super bowl! I know I will be hopefully having a movie night with my friend so that will be uber great.