Sunday, December 26, 2010

Keep on rollin'

How was every one's holidays? Good, I hope. I disappointed myself yesterday. I woke up all stoked for Christmas, I enjoyed it very much until about 1 o'clock. At noon I took my medicine and on top of making me put on like 5lbs every month, it has the fabulous side effect of giving me migraines, like the migraines that no pain med helps. I took pain pills every 6 hours trying to get this migraine to go away. Anyways we had breakfast with my in-laws, then we went to my mother-in-law's family's house, after that Joe and I went to my grandpa's. It was hard for me considering I have this way of torturing myself mentally. As I sat on the couch I pictured in my head everything Mama did last Christmas. I realized that this time last year I had no idea that would be the last time I would see Mama healthy. All the sudden a ringing phone brought me back to reality. My grandpa answered the phone and told my mom's husband to call the house phone. He calls and my mom answers, all I hear is my mom saying things like "Are you serious?" and "Where are they taking her?" and "Are you in the ambulance too?". I instantly remembered Joe telling me in the beginning of November, that he really doubts that the "one person dies every year" curse will continue in 2011. I go back to reality where we find out that my aunt keeps blacking out, not breathing, and convulsing. We left my grandpa's and went back to Joe's family gathering. I called every hour for updates, things aren't looking good. My aunt is in the ICU, and will be there for at least a week or so. The doctor wants to meet with the family tomorrow to decide what to do. I am worried and my mind just keeps flashing back to the past years where someone dies every single year. I am down to 3 close relatives, of course I have others, but most of them I don't talk to for personal reasons or they live out of state. As I sit there on the couch with this massive migraine, in a loud room, I sit there and think about last year. Last Christmas I was planning on moving, having a great job, having a "real" wedding, and continuing our future as a family. Most importantly I thought I would for sure have "the thing I want", and I would have a year where no one dies. Needless to say we can see that not one of those things happened. I am going to be honest, I not only went to bed for my migraine, I went because I felt betrayed and hopeless. I feel better today, or trying to at least. I was checking the news like I do everyday. I ran across a story about a paralyzed woman whose car was stolen and then found. It gave me a link to her website, which had a link to her blog. We all know, I love blogs. I read blogs of people from all walks of life. So I read every single post she made and I cried. I cried, because she is amazing, and even though she has had some bad stuff happen to her she "keeps on rollin'". I want to link you all to her blog. She is so inspiring and I think you all will love it... Mega-Stories

No comments:

Post a Comment

Leave a comment. You know you want to...