Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Struggle

Have you ever wanted something, that you go to desperate measures to get it? I have been wanting something for a long time now, and I am beginning to think about desperate ways of going about getting it. As a kid I wished for my dad to come back, so I could have a normal family. That was my wish for birthdays, Christmas, new years, and any other time I could wish. It got to the point I went around looking at men trying to figure out which ones would be a good daddy for me and thinking of crazy Parent Trap ways of getting my mom to marry this potential daddy. I now have an awesome father-in-law, so needless to say I eventually got my wish. As an adult I have been wishing and praying for something that I can not control whether I get. I now look back on my childhood and realize that things don't always come to you the way you expect. The thing I want has made me a different person, I have learned a lot and have gained respect for people who earn the thing I want. It's not easy but I know I am not alone and that helps. I know that even if people don't want the same thing as me, we all have that one thing we want in life and we are willing to put ourselves through hell and back to get it. It's insane the lengths I have gone to capture my dream, and yet I end up with the feeling that I am sure we all know, where you feel you are so close to your goal and yet so damn far away. I feel like my mother-in-law's jack russell, Charlie (aka Harley), he is obsessed with chasing his tail, and every time he tries he gets within an inch of catching it. He can see what he wants, but its just barely out of reach. I think the hardest part of situations like this, is when others get what you want so easily and yet you are working so hard. I know how you feel believe me. I will be the first to admit, I get insanely jealous, angry, hurt, and any other emotion out there but then I remember something someone once told me... "At least you know it's possible to get it, if they got it." This is so true, because at times I think we all feel, life is unfair and that some things just aren't possible to get, well guess what? They are possible to get, and life is fair to some degree. I think what we aren't looking at when we say life isn't fair is that, when we go through struggles we learn from them. I realized that the struggle I have gone through to follow one of my dreams has made me into a better person, but the person who got what I want without trying will learn the lesson I learned in a different way. Think about it this way, there's 3 types of learning: Seeing, hearing, and experiencing. We all learn in different ways, I learn best from experience, where as others learn lessons in other ways. Remember this, it may be a big struggle to get what you want, but at least you will appreciate it, when you do get it.

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