The flu in May?!

Yep, you read it right lovelies. Me and my "special" immune system caught the flu...in May. I thought I lucked out because the most I got in the winter was a cold, but apparently it was just waiting to hit me with it's best shot. So during a fabulous puking my guts up episode I apparently thought it would be a good idea to tear up my throat pretty fabulously, btw it's pretty f'ing painful. Now I am sitting here debating whether to drink a cup of hot cocoa for the 1,000th time today, to try taking a few teaspoons of honey, or to eat yet another throat drop things. I originally thought of just banging my head off this stool next to me but decided that probably wouldn't be very productive let alone soothing. Add the 2 1/2 days of work I missed to the shitty feeling I have right now and it equals me not being very happy with my immune system. Never mind the 5 hour, morphine filled emergency room trip I got to enjoy on Monday.

Anyways, I applied for a writing job that I am kinda excited about. It doesn't pay too much, but it will slowly fill my savings account back up. So it would be beyond splendid if I got that. Also we are getting super close to our wedding day and I am getting uber excited for it. I was beginning to think we would never get married. Not sure what we will do after marriage, besides get a new place. We are thinking about starting the adoption classes so when we are ready to (mentally and financially) we can adopt. That will be fun, especially since I am super strange and love filling out paperwork and with the adoption process you get tons and tons of papers to fill out. So yeah, that where everything is right now and I am going to go get my car wreck of a throat some relief. Talk to you lovelies soon!

Baby, I am coming home!

And you thought I would never come back. I could never leave my lovelies! Don't ever think I am going to abandon you again, OK? Pinkie promise. OK so my fabulous readers time for me to update. Everyone ready? Drum roll please (this is the part where you make a drum roll before reading, btw)....

Well I am loving my life right now. I seriously am happy. I told you all 2011 was going to be amazing, and so far it is pretty f'ing spectacular! So as we all know I got a job, the hubs has started a new *old* job (he's back at Pizza Hut for the 5th time) and we finally got another car. I also finally found out that I am anemic and lacking the good old vitamin D. I feel amazing now that I am taking vitamins. I couldn't be happier that winter finally pissed off. Oh wait I forgot to tell you all the most exciting part, the hubs and I are finally getting legally married! After five and a half years together. We are getting married July 9th. Then we will be moving later this year and the hubs plans on going back to school. Also you guys are going to be super proud of me, I know I am. So there was like high school girl drama going on (I have no idea why there is drama involving me at work when I have only been there for a month *rolls eyes*) but instead of freaking out on these two girls, I kept my cool after realizing that freaking out on them is just stooping as low as them. So I calmly called one of the girls and talked things out (OK so I was brutally honest, but I don't think I was being a bitch). I have really been working hard on thinking before speaking and it's been helping sooo much.

Well lovelies, I am going to let you all absorb that while I keep working on updating the blog design.

P.S. Isn't the song playing the cutest song ever?!

Hope.

I sat in the bathroom with mascara running down my face at 1 in the morning, I was begging for a bone to be tossed my way. I was on my knees just begging and praying for help. It's been a long time since I have pleaded to our higher power that hard. I needed an opportunity so I could fix my situation. I didn't want it to be fixed for me, but I needed fixing it to be possible. Sure enough a few days later a friend told me to apply at his job and next thing I know I am going over job terms and signing paperwork. That was my bone, now I have to chew it responsibly and find the best place to bury it. Part of me is so ecstatic that my prayers were answered, but another part of me is overly cautious and worried that I will or have made the wrong choice(s). In the past we have made some bad decisions that have led us to where we are, and I am terrified I will make or allow those same things to repeat themselves. I am so extremely ready to have our own house under our names, have a paid off car (and keep it), have a steady income, and all that so we can finally move on in our lives, start a family and live. I feel like the stage of life I am in right now is one where I make or break my future. I need to set all the pieces in the right places now so I can have a beautiful future. I know what I have done to get myself into the position I am in now, I also know what I need to change to prevent it from happening again. Now I just need to find the strength to do so. I am proud of myself for all that I have learned and all that I have accomplished, but I am also proud of myself for realizing that there is no one else to blame for where I am or where I have been. I am working very hard on being the bigger person in some situations and not reacting to people trying to trigger me to react. Overall though I am very happy, nervous, but happy. I am so extremely thankful for what I have, and the power I have to make things better.

Update

I swear I didn't abandon you all. I haven't been able to find that creativity that usually is flowing so fluently inside me. I have been dealing with a lot lately and it can overwhelm me if I let it, which for awhile there I did. A lot of the crap I have had going on is due to assuming, either me assuming or someone else. I can't stand assuming and I hate that I do it every now and then. People like to assume they know what is going on with certain situations, or with things I will say or do. It's very annoying. It's like a story my hubs was telling me the other day. I guess when him and his dad where doing a job (they are plumbers/installers) this lady kept trying to finish their sentences, but of course kept getting it wrong. It is extremely annoying when people do things like that. If you do that to people, you might want to consider stopping. If someone does it to you do what I always do, tell them one of these options: A)"Do you want to know what I was going to say or do you just want to pretend you know what I was going to say?" B) or swap out "say" in option A with whatever word fits the situation. C) "Since you already know what I was going to say, will you hurry and have this conversation in your head because it is obviously a waste of my time." Make sure to say this in a very sarcastic tone.
Those options usually get the point across pretty well.

Anyways, I think I blame the weather for my lack of creativity. I hate Salt Lake City for its extreme weather changes all year long. SLC has its own little climate due to the fact we're pretty much in a bowl. We have mountains surrounding us every way so humidity, pollution, heat, etc. gets trapped in our "bowl" causing crazy things to happen. Lately we have been enjoying this every other day of 70 degrees of pure sunshine then the next day its 30 degrees and snowing. It's pretty ridiculous if you ask me. The more this weather goes crazy the more I question our decision of cancelling our plans to move to Vegas last year. We were so close to doing it (2 months away to be exact) and we changed plans last second.
Well, I am off to the doctors soon, I promise I will post more now. :)

The Reversed Rocky

For those of you who don't know what the "Rocky" is, it's when you throw an ice cold glass of water on some one's face and while they react to that, you punch them. I feel like I got reversed rocky-ed. I got punched and it hurt. I feel the pain flood my face, the pity, the embarrassment, and the shock fill me up. Then someone throws ice cold water on me, making me rush back to reality, realizing I will be ok and to just keep my mind over matter. Life has given me a lot of cheap shots over the years, each one as painful as the last. My water in the face is me realizing it hurts but I will pull through. After the shock of the punch and the refreshing moment of the ice water, I will feel better. I will still have the bruise that will hurt when someone touches it, and it'll hurt when someone reminds me of it, making me remember it's there. The punch didn't kill me and I will grow from it, I will learn from it, and I will be stronger for it. No matter how hard I get hit I will get up, dust off my manicured hands, put my stilettos back on and I will keep working my runway called life. One day when the time is right I will fight back, but now isn't the time. I will take these broken wings and learn to fly.

Sleeping Babies & Irish Husbands

I love when I get to play with my little cousin Jordana. She is my cousin-in-law, Tony's one year old daughter. I love the way she holds on to my fingers, pulls herself up with much pride, and then as she purposely falls on her butt and I say "Boom!" she laughs so hard. P.S. she has the cutest freaking laugh 'nuff said. I love the way we have head shaking contests until she laughs so hard she snorts. I love the way she gets deliriously tired and laughs at absolutely nothing. I love the way she drinks her bottle and feels the blanket as she falls asleep. Then just when you think she fell asleep she all the sudden wakes up again. I love the way as she dozes off into baby dream land, her hand slowly falls and once it hits the blanket she jolts awake and repeats the same hand falling motion. She is such a calm happy baby and I love babysitting her.

Today we are celebrating my hubby's 24th birthday and it looks like St. Patrick's Day vomited in my basement. Happy Birthday, my love!




Note he even had mini flags :)








I am not sure why he is making a poo face in this picture, but oh well

Our higher power wants their angel back: Delaney

Our higher power let us barrow an angel. This angel's name is Delaney. She is a 3 year old little girl, she has fought a battle harder than any of us even know. I heard a story once, I am going to do my best to repeat it.

An angel approached God and asked, "I would like to go to earth and teach the people a lesson about strength, hope, and love." God replies "I can let you go but I will have to teach you a lesson about strength, hope, and love." The angel goes to earth as a newborn, lives life and is an amazing person. The angel starts getting sick and discovers they have a fatal disease. The angel and the people in the angel's life learn three lessons: strength, hope and love. Eventually God calls the angel back to heaven. He asks the angel "Did you teach your lessons?" A tear slides down the angel's cheek and she hugs God and says thanks.

That story means a lot to me because I have repeatedly watched the best people I know die from terrible diseases. I wanted to share that story with you all especially Delaney's friends and family. I know how hard it is to sit there and watch the ones you love pass, and know there's nothing you can do about it. I think that regardless of what religion you are (I am not a religious person) you can relate to this story and it will help you heal.

Little Delaney is being called back to heaven and will soon make her journey. My heart hurts for her parents, but I know that this is best for Delaney.

If you want to read Delaney's story, or be a fan on Facebook click here <----